"Remedy" has been PUBLISHED!
I'm profoundly terrified and excited to announce that my newest collection of poetry is now available for order on Amazon.
"Remedy" contains the 40 poems that I wrote for myself during the long dark night I have endured over the past couple of years. Each piece was scribbled with a trembling hand and two short legs dangling over the abyss of my despair.
This collection also contains the poem "My Head and Heart Divorced".
It's not an exaggeration to say that I'm not sure I would still be here without finding these words.
To be honest, the book was published yesterday - I've just been too afraid to let anyone know.
It's so very scary.
This is the most personal and vulnerable work I have ever published. Making this public is like tight-rope walking while wearing a speedo above a shark tank in front of a sea of people. ( I apologize for the imagery)
Currently, the book is only available on Amazon in paperback form. The e-book is in pre-order mode and set to release on 11/16/21. You can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Remedy-John-Roedel/dp/B09L4X47ZY/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1636481048&sr=8-1
In a couple of days, I will have more details about how people can order the book outside of Amazon. I just need to let the publishing dust settle a bit before I know what my options are.
I come from a long line of pharmacists. My great-grandfather arrived in the wild west town of Cheyenne in 1885 and opened up a pharmacy that was in our family until it closed in 2007. I spent my entire childhood in our store watching my dad walk in the shoes his ancestors did.
He would take these tiny little slips of paper that doctors scrawled on and transform them into little vials of medicine. Seeing my daddy pharmacist work was like watching a magic show/big-tent church revival every day. People who were suffering would line up and wait for their turn to be given a remedy.
While most kids in my neighborhood played army or war - I would often want to pretend I was a pharmacist. I would pour my small body into my dad's old white lab coat and open up a little stand in my front yard to hand out little amber bottle of M & M's to people walking by. Since my brain wasn't built for science, becoming a pharmacist s never an option for me.
I didn't have the IQ to be a medical healer. I thought I would never be a giver of balms or a mixer of elixirs. But - while putting this collection together of my own personal lyrical prescriptions of hope that my heart had written for me during my deepest moments of suffering - I felt a connection to the ghosts of my great-grandfather, grandfather and father in a way I never have before.
Each of these poems are the little amber vials that I pray can help at least one other person out there in this raging world.
This world is such a heartbreaking beautiful adventure that can leave our souls feeling so very ill from time to time. Life can be so exhausting that often we are left n overwhelmed with an invisible sickness.
I am so grateful that you all have supported me on this journey. "Grateful" is such an easy word to write - but it's true. I feel gratitude in the morrow of my bones for each of you. You have held up me when I wanted to give up. You have dried my tears when I couldn't open my stinging eyes. You have been so kind.
This book would never have happened without you. I am grateful to the core of my being. If I never write another poem again I want you to know that all of you have changed my life. Thank you for being patient while I learned how to turn my scars into violin strings.
I am grateful. I am grateful. I am grateful.
These 40 poems were my remedy while I was unwell in the darkness of my infected thoughts- I hope these words can be a healing agent for you too if you ever need it.
Thank you for letting me feel like a pharmacist for at least one day.
I love you.