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the wounds in our hearts
seem to ache a little deeper
during the holidays
don't feel like you
need to cover your wounded
heart in wrapping paper
this Christmas
you don't have to
tie the corners
of your lips with
garland to force
a smile
you don't have to
keep whistling
"silent night" to keep
people from noticing
your bottom lip is trembling
you don't have to blame
an allergy to nutmeg
for why you are walking
around with tears in your
eyes
for this Christmas
give yourself
permission
to feel whatever you
need to
last night
I was visited
by the ghost
of yuletide Heartbreak
she told me this:
it's okay to not be okay
on Christmas
it's okay to be melancholy
under the mistletoe
it's okay to come apart
while they are caroling
it's okay to trace your scars with your fingers
while others are humming ‘Holy Night’
it's okay to miss the presence of your beloved
amid the sound of opening presents
it's okay, my love,
to hurt during the holidays
don't stuff your stockings
with your suffering
don't hide your healing
during the holidays
give yourself the gift
of being authentic to yourself
it's okay to not be okay
during Christmas
it's okay to let the broken
pieces inside of you
be the only jingle bells you
hear
because, my love, because,
it means you are still fighting
to stay alive
and I can't think of anything
more to celebrate than that
~ john roedel
